There's no other heart broken then this

Not all scars shown.And not all wounds heal. Sometimes you just can't see the pain I feel. Only god knows how sad, how heartbroken, how speechless, how devastated I am. I just can't accept the fact that i won't be giving that guy suprises anymore because I just can't figure out what sort of excuse to cover next time. Yesterday was last day ever that Im gonna plan or put so much effort in doing something pleasant and a suprise to that guy. And a round of applause, within minutes, it's all gone. Gone forver. I wonder if both the diary books and the handmade monthsarry card is still there. Maybe people took it? I dont know and I don care anymore. For sure, Im not waste anymore efforts or time to make a suprise for you. I've always wanted a relationship full of suprises. But now my wishes is just a dream. I've fufil yours but you? Did you fufil mine? Sampai hati. Haish. I don't know what else to say and how long is the pain gonna last. All I can say now is "Thank you for ruining everything, my dreams, my wishes, my efforts, my time, my suprises" :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :/ :/ :/ :/ :/